The Things You See When You Haven't Got Your Gun
by 96 Hubbles
Summary: Sometimes you just can't help yourself.


_Disclaimer: Show's characters are the creative brainchild of others. No disrespect is intended._

_I did a challenge. Can you guess which one? _

**The Things You See When You Haven't Got Your Gun**

It was past two a.m. when Newkirk caught sight of the barrier coming down in front of them. Instinct told him something was wrong; the little checkpoint box was well lit and there were two guards out front, their postures radiating tension.

Snapping at Carter to get their identification papers out, he brought the borrowed car to a halt, but even before he could roll down his window, the nearest guard - built like a champion rugby player and possessing a face like a concrete block - rapped impatiently against the glass.

"Papers," Cement-face demanded sharply.

Newkirk handed them over quickly and without a word. He did his best not to show any fear, but he was conscious the entire time of the defecting German physicist tightly squeezed in the trunk of their car. He was able to keep his hands from clenching too noticeably on the steering wheel, but underneath the leather of his gloves, sweat began to bead on his palms. Beside him, he could tell Carter was barely breathing.

After a surreptitious deep breath, Newkirk had actually opened his mouth to ask if there was a problem, when the guard's brow furrowed and he shouted for the other guard, also the size and temperament of thug able to punch out a horse should he so desire, to come and look at this.

Newkirk tensed. Carter stopped breathing completely.

The second guard joined the first and both squinted at Newkirk's papers under the glare of the barrier's lights. The men in the car watched helplessly as the two Germans consulted back and forth. Newkirk shifted his hands on the wheel, gripping it more tightly. Underneath the dash, his foot twitched, ready to slam on the accelerator and plow them through the offending obstruction.

Then a splintering, pulpy crash sounded from off to the right. Bursting through the trees and leaving a wreck of damaged undergrowth in its wake, came a giant black shape. Four men gaped as it emerged from the darkness, growing larger and larger, stampeding towards their light.

A giant bull elephant stopped mere inches from the other side of the stripped wooden arm. Newkirk could have sworn he could feel its hot, heavy, huffing breath as it stared fiercely at their frozen little tableau. Suddenly it reared on its hind legs and shattered the air with a resounding trumpet. Newkirk jerked with surprise and let out a little yelp.

Then the elephant's head bobbed to the left with a short-tempered jerk and, making a thundering sort of snuffy noise, it quickly stamped across the road and disappeared into the woods as quickly as it had come.

The guard holding Newkirk's papers whipped them through the car's window, smacking Newkirk on the face, and both Germans tore off after the beast, following its trail of broken trees and shouting confusedly to each other, while Newkirk, stunned, could only sit there and watch as Carter got out of the car and lifted the barrier.

"Newkirk?" Carter asked once he got back in, "Shouldn't we get going while the getting's good?"

"What?" Newkirk said dazedly. "Oh. Oh, right." He shook his head as if to clear it, then put the car in gear and they started off again.

"You okay?"

"Fine, mate. Fine." He exhaled noisily. "Blimey, though, that's one for the books!"

"Our guys must've bombed the zoo again," Carter said.

Newkirk nodded. It sounded good to him. "And those guards!" he went on, still dazed, "I thought we were nicked for certain."

Carter shrugged. "Naw, I knew we were going to be okay."

" 'course you did," Newkirk snorted sceptically. "You and your crystal ball in the glove box."

"I did! I really did!" Carter insisted.

"Howdja know, then? Howdja know we were going to be all right?" Newkirk asked.

"It's very simple, Newkirk," Carter explained with a smug grin, "We had the elephant of surprise on our side."

Five minutes later, Newkirk was still laughing so hard he had to pull the car over and let Carter drive them the rest of the way home.


End file.
